Thursday, October 13, 2005

Beardless in Front Royal

I just gave the lab tech a good laugh. You see, his most definitive characteristic for most of the year was a big, thick, long, dark beard. I mean, this was one heck of a beard for a young man of nineteen summers to be sporting. Anyway, he had this beard at the beginning of the semester when we all had identification cards and things like that issued. This included the photograph which is next to his name on the list of lab technicians. When Mr. Beard is on duty, there is a poster next to the doorway which denotes who is on duty, and a photograph is included for the benefit of the computer crashers and printer killers on campus.

Mr. Beard was well known on campus, and everyone knew him by that beard. Until one day. When the amazing happened.

He shaved.

Oh, wow.

Now he has no beard. His face looks…different. His entire person looks…different. Wow.

Anyway, I approached him just a few minutes ago and asked whether he was planning on perpetrating a heinous crime over break and his shocked response was, “No! Umm…why?” I then went on to explain that a classic sign of criminal behavior is to disseminated one’s photograph widely, then dramatically alter one’s appearance so that the photographs are all rendered ineffectual.
He laughed long in hard as a response to my explanation, and I passed on. My work here is done.


  1. Shocking. Just watch, despite what he said, he'll still perform that crime.

  2. Woh, weird, I totally missed this one till just now!