A done deal

And the great event having passed with glory, pomp, and circumstance, the princess rode with her knight into the east, decidedly against the trend of history and legend. They reflected with chagrin upon the rank disobedience of their vassals in liberally festooning the chariot with creme de shave and streamers, but bliss soon carried them beyond such considerations. With lightning and thunder preceding their arrival by only moments, the princess and the knight passed with haste from the chariot to the castle, wherein they passed the night in peace and safety. The next morn, the castle gatekeeper inquired anxiously as to where the princess and the knight had been two evenings previous--a date for which he believed they had a reservation. The princess looked aghast at the homely keeper, whilst the knight shook his head in gentle dismay. "Nay, good peasant," said the knight, "for we were married but yestereve. There would be no cause for our presence before then...surely you are mistaken." Thus it happened that the gatekeeper had cause to check his records and correct the mistake, to the great relief of the princess.

Thus endeth chapter one.

Flaking out at D-7 days

A thought. See, because we ingest so many complex food chemicals and steroids every day (usually about 2500 calories' worth per day than we need), the divinely inspired design of our soft palate is gradually deteriorating. For example, the "g" sounded at the end of gerunds (i.e. walking, sneezing, inventing) had been lost so widely across American society that we will soon cease to include it in our written speech. The same has already happened with the dropped "e," as in "shoppe."

This post brought to you by Joe Shirley. Thanks for the idea, man.