1. Zuchinni, when sliced in large quantities and subsequently handled by the same ten fingers for a period of longer than fifteen minutes, creates the same skin-surface effect as superglue.
2. Protestant Churches in town, with enough money, have begun engaging in a sort of evangelization during which church members approach the door of a house, slip a bag (containing, candy, brochures, service schedules, and tracts) onto the doorknob, ring the doorbell, and leave.
3. The indoor lights of the Jeep will stay on until turned off. This kills the battery. What should be "off" is really "on." The battery is dead again.
4. My dentist is the debil. No, not true. He's nice. The dental profession is the debil. That's better.
5. It's harder to make julian fries than it looks.
6. What is labeled as a size 4 might not, in fact, be a size 4 when you try it on. It is guaranteed not to be a size 4 once it enters your home and you try it on again.
7. Hallmark is the debil.
8. My scanner is the debil.
9. Knowing that you will be unemployed in three days gives one a simultaneously liberated and ill feeling.
10. Squirrels really do make that icky thump sound when you run over them.