So, I've gone and joined the Chess Ladder here at school. If you've heard of one, skip this paragraph. If you haven't heard of one, you might need to skip this paragraph anyway, because my explanations of things are worth about as much as a necktie in a herpetologist's office. A chess ladder is a thing where you sign up, play other people, and win or lose points based on whether you win or lose the game. You move up or down the ladder according to how many points you have.
I'm at the bottom.
Well, that's not strictly true. I'm fourth from the bottom, but that's only because there are three people who have lost more games than I have. I had one win to my name. And one almost win. And one total shocker of a loss, seeing as how the winner nearly had a heart attack when he realized that I had one. It was funny.
The problem with me playing chess, though, is that I can't. My ability to strategize and be crafty is worth about as much as a...well, never mind. Besides, I can't even tell how many innings there are, and there is not a quarterback to be found among my pieces. How do they expect me to play any game without a quarterback? Anyway, I'm on a quest to find someone who is even worse at chess than I am.
This could take a while.